My youngest two, Jacob and Hannah. Now 20 and 18. They are good kids, they make their Mama proud. MOST of the time. Sometimes they give me big huge knots in my stomach and sometimes like this weekend they cause my heart to stop for a brief second. Or maybe it was longer, i can't remember cause the blood had left my head and I couldn't think.
This weekend was a big milestone for me. I was all alone. Husband on another trip again. That might not seem like such a big deal to some, but when you've had five babies and they grow up to have lots of friends and they all end up at your house, well, you can imagine! The oldest daughter is moved out now, eldest son in L.A. working on his first million(and having fun doing it), middle son in Bali, that leaves these two....
While out to dinner with eldest daughter I stare dreamily off into space and say " I wonder how your sister is doing on her camping trip?"
Kim, never a waster of words, and hardly a keeper of secrets says:
"she's on a train to San Diego"
WHAT?? i am picturing my baby in the redwoods, in NORTHERN
California. Now i am hearing that this child may be hundreds of miles the opposite way?
It seems she wanted to go meet friends over Spring Break and thought I would say no. So she made up the Redwoods I ask? Hannah told Kim she would keep her informed. But Kim hadn't heard from her. So we both start texting and calling her and all her friends and friends parents. We found out some kids DID go to the Redwoods.
We compare notes, trying to think of clues as to her whereabouts. I tell Kim we are like
Mma Ramotswe and Mma Makutsi trying to solve a puzzle. I only say this because I feel like crying and don't know which direction to turn my thoughts, north or south? where is my daughter? Well, i do remember her googling train schedules and me forgetting to ask why. And she did take the hair dryer, but at the same time she asked stepPapa if she could take one of the sleeping bags... I don't like mysteries...
So, I waited to hear from her. I told myself not to worry, she is a smart girl and will make good decisions no matter where she is. And she is 18 now. So I got busy with enjoying my kid and husband free time.
I went on a trail run, and out to breakfast, went to 2 flea markets, one time with oldest daughter and one time with M.I.L., still no messages from my baby. Watched Born Free all by myself, which is good because I can cry all I want and no one can ask me "What's the matter?" But half way through it I wondered at my choice of movies...Mama lion and her cubs...
Next night, I get another visit from Kim again.
"Jacob spent the night in jail Mom"
It seems there was a fight and my baby son was in the middle of it. He was already home and sleeping she said so don't call him. I look at her and say WHY did you wait to tell me??
Because there was nothing you could do.
And we didn't want to worry you.
I say, I am not cut out for this.
Morals of this story:
1. beware of oldest daughter bearing news.
2. copy lion behavior, in the beginning fiercely protect, in adolescence, let go.
3. consider changing cell phone service, Dear tmobile, i love my G-1, but you get less bars in more places.
4. reread The #1 ladies detective agency stories, I am a terrible detective.
5. next life come back as a grain of sand, and travel around landing on exotic beaches all over the world.
Oh, and Hannah did end up going camping,
innocent after all ;) but there is still her brother to deal with...
xxx love, lori